Nefarious Official Trailer. Merchant of Souls

A Call to Anguish - David Wilkerson

Journaling through Psalm 119 and other Psalms-21 May 2010

I am a sojourner on the earth; hide not Your ways from me! My soul is consumed with longing for Your ways at all times. My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to Your word! Put false ways far from me, and graciously teach me Your law! Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in Your ways. Confirm to Your servant Your promise, that You may be feared, in Your righteousness give me life! Let Your steadfast love come to me, O Lord, Your salvation according to your promise. For I trust in Your word. And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth. This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your promise gives me life. Your statutes have been my songs in the house of my sojourning. The Lord is my portion; I promise to keep Your words. I entreat Your favor with all my heart; be gracious to me according to Your promise. I am a companion of all who fear You, of those who keep Your precepts. The earth, O Lord, is full of Your steadfast love. You have dealt well with Your servant, O Lord, according to Your word. Teach me good judgment and knowledge. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your word. You are good and do good; teach me Your statutes. It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn Your statutes. The law of Your mouth is better to me that thousands of gold and silver pieces. Your hands have made and fashioned me. Those who fear You shall see me and rejoice, because I hoped in Your word. I know, O Lord, that Your rules are righteous, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me. Let Your steadfast love comfort me according to Your promise to Your servant. My soul longs for Your salvation; I hope in Your word. My eyes long for Your promise! How sweet are Your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Give me life, O Lord, according to Your word! Accept my freewill offering of praise, O Lord, and teach me Your ways. Your testimonies are my heritage forever, for they are the joy of my heart. I hate the double-minded, but I love Your law.You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word. Uphold me according to Your promise, that I may live, and let me not be put to shame in my hope! Hold me up, that I may be safe and have regard for Your statutes continually! You spurn all who go astray from Your statutes, for their cunning is in vain. All the wicked of the earth You discard like dross, therefore I love Your testimonies. My flesh trembles for fear of You, and I am afraid of Your judgments. My eyes long for Your salvation and for the fulfillment of Your righteous promise. I am Your servant; give me understanding, that I may know Your testimonies! The unfolding of Your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. Turn to me and be gracious to me, as is Your way with those who love Your name. Keep steady my steps according to Your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me. Make Your face shine upon Your servant, and teach me Your ways. My eyes shed streams of tears, because people do not keep Your law. My zeal consumes me, because my foes forget Your words. Your promise is well tried, and Your servant loves it! With my whole heart I cry; answer me, O Lord! I call to You; save me. I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in Your words. My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate on Your promise. Hear my voice according to Your steadfast love, O Lord, according to Your justice give me life. Give me Your mercy, O Lord; give me life according to Your ways. I look at the faithless with disgust, because they do not keep Your commandments. Give me life according to Your steadfast love. The sum of Your word is truth, and every one of Your righteous ways endures forever. Let my cry come before You, O Lord; give me understanding according to Your word. My lips will pour forth praise, my tongue will sing of Your word. I long for Your salvation, O Lord, let my soul live and praise You. My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. I shall not die, but shall live, and recount the deeds of the Lord. The Lord has disciplined me severely, but He has not given me over to death. As for me, I shall in my integrity; redeem me, and be gracious to me. My foot stands on level ground; in the great assembly I will bless the Lord. To You I lift up my eyes, O You who are enthroned in the heavens! Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! -Amen

Journal Entry 12 June 2009

Living in the mountains riding ponies is what I am really dreaming now. Got the Troubadour's book about a hairy 8 legged beast with its open free flowing words. Straight mind to paper all it is. Trying the same myself but ain't the same. Lol summer is coming on hard and I want to be here no more. The band is playing riding songs and my heart longs for the road. Southern by the grace of God but the West is my heart's want tonight. But the Far East is where my compass is pointing but it may be a time till I get to the Steppe where the Mongols still follow the roaming ways. Funny how I thought a hacienda would be so grand by my dream home now is a ger (Mongolian hut).

But oh great I AM please keep me to the path. I will follow You down any way You choose for love is Your way and it's the only one worth following. Many claim to know its ways but few truly follow for its joy is in the suffering of it. But how much can we really suffer when You already suffered it all in our stead. Reveal to me the scripts Holy wisdom, Your very mind its told. Throw me in the battle fray so all shall know that no other is worthy.

I know not who my bride to be is yet. I know whom is of my choosing but You know me better than I do and my beautiful betrothed also. Speak Your ways into her heart and bring us into Your holy purity and righteousness. So that our love will be strong because we are tapped to the Source, Love itself-You my King. Never let us go. I know you are already bringing our paths together. Let it converge in a clear path that we will both know it's true and from You, and once together never let our paths separate either. Drum out the rhythm of Your heart before us O' my Lord. My heart screams HALLELUJAH and my soul dances at Your feet. Let passion fuel me toward the battle front. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU LORD!!!!!

Journal Entry 3 April 2009

I am the wanderer, beating down the land below my callused feet. Planes, trains, and automobiles but horse and saddle cannot be beat. None be strangers these. The rambler’s heart beats within my chest calling, pushing me to move on, to meet new folks and learn from their peculiar ways. Some think me crazy and mayhap that be right. But tis just the same, I’m gonna keep wandering till my dying day. Perhaps, my Papa in the heavenlies will bless me with a partner of the fair… Tis a funny thing that women be the most beautiful creature in the natural realm yet most certainly the bane of man’s existence, but I do love ‘em still. They say to have loved and lost is better than never lovin a’tall. I say tis truth this, for to give your love and the other to refuse is the latter’s loss and none of my own. Cause life is not about no broken hearts but having the strength to let yet another in. For it’s in the suffering we find sweet, sweet joy. So…I’ll just keep a rollin, cause it’s all gonna be gravy on the other side. But it is the eyes of girls so fair that melt my machismo to a shallow puddle. I do thank the Lord for this blues band in the corner playin today, for how it soothes the burning soul and lets these rambling pages get writ.
Selah
Oh how I long to ride across the Steppe of the East. For in this far off land the nomads still roam no worries of the world so cruel. Tis a funny thing that Abba’s path to such will lead me through a city yet, one too big for my mind to truly grasp. It does make me slightly chuckle. Good thing I love people so, yet it’s the ruts they’re stuck traveling in that makes my heart lament. It’s not my own path I wish them to follow for mine is a hard one. It’s my truest passion still to help my brothers and sisters find a love for life, AKA the Great I AM, and that they become seekers of everything to the uttermost. Otherwise, they are just souls waitin on their pitiful flesh to wilt and die. And oh, how it saddens me so. But when just one lets their heart get lost and they have no clue where to go, but they just know they gotta get there, how it makes my heart jump. Cause its only when you realize you’re lost that one can seek the path out of darkness. For it is people’s hearts that is the darkest of places, and in these I am so compelled to go that Yeshua might set them free. To the Kingdom He is calling, not just a safe place to be when the flesh rests but a fight to join, an epic journey to travel, grand adventures to be had. A life beyond mere existence, and whether they travel many lands or merely go down the street a couple blocks, sweet unending joy they shall have. Though none find perfection in this time of carnal flesh, the truest pursuit of it yields a beauty that transcends what our mere senses can understand. It doesn’t take complicated theology, simply love God with all you got and love others with the same passion you have for your own life. All things fall under this. Jesus is God, my King and dearest friend. That’s my theology. This way is so simple yet it pervades all I do, think, and sense. I interpret all through this lens. Life becomes like jazz, moments like notes composed on the fly in a rhythm that is pure beauty.
Amen

My Wanderings

My Wanderings

Hello dear friends and family,
To say the least it has been a busy time since I arrived in Minnesota. I want to thank you all for your support both in prayer and finances. I know that I am truly loved by God and many people. It is almost too much for me to understand why I am so loved other than the fact of the Messiah’s transforming power.
I am sorry for not writing you sooner and I am going to try to do better in the future. It has been nonstop action since I got here but it has been amazing also. The best thing about other than a very tangible presence of God is my new brothers and sisters in the Lord. They are an amazing bunch of people. We are truly family here at Bethany College of Missions. Not to mention that everyone is consumed with the love of our King Jesus.
We have had great classes with amazing teachers. Our first class was Christology or the study of Christ. And we just built on our knowledge from there. Also, the opportunities for ministry have been awesome. The school is connected to so many Churches and ministries that you cannot possibly join them all.
Last semester, we all went to the University of Minnesota every Monday night for evangelism. It was great but there is much darkness there to deal with. There are still many that go but this semester we have more options on what ministry we can do. It is a requirement that we do ministry at least once a week. I am part of a group of ten students that feels led to reach out to our neighbors that are in close proximity to the school, it is called Auto Club Ministry.
I have also been able to do much outside of the required ministries. I have witnessed on the streets to homeless people, to shoppers at the Mall of America, and even to crazy hippies at a large music fest. And I have seen the Spirit break into some people’s hearts.
However, my favorite thing is my time in the Prayer Room. We are moving to have it open 24-7, it is not quite there but I still love being a part of it. I spend many hours in intercession every week. For one hour a week I am part of a worship team and I do prayer leading. During this time I mainly have been praying for the church to grow in unity and holiness, plus I have been doing much intercession for Israel.
Psalm 122:6-Pray for the peace of Jerusalem!
This verse has rocked my heart. The Spirit has been showing me many scriptures that show that Israel must come back to Jesus and cry for His return. In Matthew 23:37-38 our Lord cried out, “Jerusalem, Jerusalem…For I tell you, you will not see Me again, until you say, ’Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’” Jesus will return when His people cry out for Him, the Messiah. This has become such a burden on my heart that I feel led to travel to Jerusalem to intercede for and minister to the Israeli people amongst them for a season, sometime soon hopefully. I would like God to open the door for me to go this summer.
Well, that is quick overview of what has been going on in my life. If you would like I could tell you many more stories, my phone is still (479)221-4130 and my email is eric.rainwater@bcom.org. I would also love to hear what has been going on in your life and if you need any prayer I would love to pray and encourage you all, I do anyways but specifics always help.
Peace be to the brothers and sisters, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with you all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.—Eph. 6:23-24